I've made it home, safe and sound! One of the greatest things I've heard in a really long time was the first thing over the PA system in Dulles airport, "Dear US citizens, welcome home to the United States of America". It was so great and refreshing to hear, especially after my super long and painful airplane ride.
But I'm currently at my dad's house and loving the freedom. I've finished my school assignments and all of my school stuff, so my brain is shutting down for the next two weeks. I got to decorate everything for Christmas today and it's brought so much happiness for me. Nothing gets me excited more than a winterwonderland of christmas decorations. (And it's pretty gorgeous, if I do say so myself).
I'm looking forward to all of my time in America: relaxing, spending time with family and friends, and the occasional bad-for-me snack (I'm trying to be good with my diet). If I get to see you, I'm excited.. if I can't, then it'll happen in the summer, I hope!
Merry Christmas!! (if I don't get to write again before then)
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Desire and Patience
God has been teaching me a lot about desire lately, but mostly about the patience that comes with those desires. There are so many things that I want out of life, so many things that I want to know that I just haven't figured out yet. Yet, God still tells me to be patient and wait. I was in a particular state of craziness yesterday about all these desires. They all hit at once and I kept asking God, "When will I know X?" or "When will I figure out Y?" It was frustrating. BUT, God was faithful like always. Literally at the half way mark of my run, my ipod died. Coincidence? I think not. I used that time that I had running home to lay it all out on the table for God and just say "God, I have no idea- you do this".
The best part about this run (and I love when God does this in general) is that He really slapped me in the face with some Scripture. I had been reading and attempting to memorize four verses on waiting and patience over the past week or so and God finally just hit me with them and was like, "You've been reading and reading these...now here...embrace them." It was the encouragement I need. Not to say that I'm not still struggling with relinquishing control and I'm still a rather impatient person, but I'm working hard at keeping these Scriptures close to mind.
"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry" -Psalm 40:1
"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are those who wait for him!" -Isaiah 30:18
"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope" -Psalm 130:5
"Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord" -Psalm 27:14 (My favorite out of all of them)
ALSO- I go home for Christmas in FOUR days!!!!
The best part about this run (and I love when God does this in general) is that He really slapped me in the face with some Scripture. I had been reading and attempting to memorize four verses on waiting and patience over the past week or so and God finally just hit me with them and was like, "You've been reading and reading these...now here...embrace them." It was the encouragement I need. Not to say that I'm not still struggling with relinquishing control and I'm still a rather impatient person, but I'm working hard at keeping these Scriptures close to mind.
"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry" -Psalm 40:1
"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are those who wait for him!" -Isaiah 30:18
"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope" -Psalm 130:5
"Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord" -Psalm 27:14 (My favorite out of all of them)
ALSO- I go home for Christmas in FOUR days!!!!
Friday, December 2, 2011
Less Drug Induced This Time...
So Thanksgiving was last week and I wanted to recap for you, but with less over the counter medication blazing through my veins. Thanksgiving was awesome. I got to spend it with a bunch of Americans who brought a traditional American dish. They went all out too and even used stuff they brought from the States. We even got to stream the Macy's Day Parade and the football game. It was quite the epic and delicious day, I must say.
2 WEEKS UNTIL I'M HOME FOR CHRISTMAS!!!
I can't convey how excited I am. It's going to be busy and crazy and I'll probably be tired as all get out, but I am so so so so so excited to see family and friends and just be refreshed from time in American... as short as that time is. I hope that I get to talk and see everyone while I'm home. If not, please forgive me ahead of time.
Mostly, this post is just for me to tell you guys how good God is. I've been going through a REALLY rough time the past few months, but I have to say that I have never grown so much spiritually in my entire life. God has been there through every single step of the way and I am so thankful. Even those days when the last thing I want to be is thankful for the trials in my life. But, I've also been learning what it means to be joyful. Sure, I've been happy for the majority of my life, but I'm really exploring and discovering what it means to have the joy of Christ in my heart even on the crappiest days. Knowing that no matter what is thrown at me, I have the God of all creation on my side and defending me, loving me, and protecting me through it all. It actually brings tears to my eyes thinking about.
Our God is so big and so good and I think that I forget that most of the time. Sure, when people ask me about God I can say, "He's awesome" or "He's the best ever" but I never really sit to reflect on the depth of that. God really IS awesome and he really IS the best ever. Yet, I take it for granted so much. It's no wonder that I'm going through such times. God has been patiently waiting for me to make these discoveries for the past 23 years and I never really grasped the depth of it. Only now, in the most difficult times of my life, are my eyes really open to my amazing, loving, everlasting God. God is teaching me what it means to love, to be loved, to be broken, and a new definition of grace. He's done this by completely wiping away everything I thought I knew and teaching me from scratch. It's hard, yes, but this is something that I believe every Christian should pray for in their life. I've never been so intimate with God and I wouldn't change it for the world... literally.
2 WEEKS UNTIL I'M HOME FOR CHRISTMAS!!!
I can't convey how excited I am. It's going to be busy and crazy and I'll probably be tired as all get out, but I am so so so so so excited to see family and friends and just be refreshed from time in American... as short as that time is. I hope that I get to talk and see everyone while I'm home. If not, please forgive me ahead of time.
Mostly, this post is just for me to tell you guys how good God is. I've been going through a REALLY rough time the past few months, but I have to say that I have never grown so much spiritually in my entire life. God has been there through every single step of the way and I am so thankful. Even those days when the last thing I want to be is thankful for the trials in my life. But, I've also been learning what it means to be joyful. Sure, I've been happy for the majority of my life, but I'm really exploring and discovering what it means to have the joy of Christ in my heart even on the crappiest days. Knowing that no matter what is thrown at me, I have the God of all creation on my side and defending me, loving me, and protecting me through it all. It actually brings tears to my eyes thinking about.
Our God is so big and so good and I think that I forget that most of the time. Sure, when people ask me about God I can say, "He's awesome" or "He's the best ever" but I never really sit to reflect on the depth of that. God really IS awesome and he really IS the best ever. Yet, I take it for granted so much. It's no wonder that I'm going through such times. God has been patiently waiting for me to make these discoveries for the past 23 years and I never really grasped the depth of it. Only now, in the most difficult times of my life, are my eyes really open to my amazing, loving, everlasting God. God is teaching me what it means to love, to be loved, to be broken, and a new definition of grace. He's done this by completely wiping away everything I thought I knew and teaching me from scratch. It's hard, yes, but this is something that I believe every Christian should pray for in their life. I've never been so intimate with God and I wouldn't change it for the world... literally.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Thankssssssssss
So, I realize that I'm jumping the gun on the Thanksgiving thing, but tomorrow is going to be nut-so, so I wanted to make sure it got done. (I mean... I've been jumping the gun on holiday stuff in general, anyway. I can't list all the Christmas cds that I've already listened to)
1. My family. As crazy as they may be, they always support me and are always there for me.
2. My friends that love me even though I whine and complain and completely embarrass them on a pretty regular basis: namely, Janie (woo, Janet!), Joanna (would NOT survive Hungary without her), and Tiffany (I love our dailies. We should keep that up)
3. My church family. They are amazingggggg. Seriously.
4. Medicine. Which I'm currently loaded on. I'm sick and have been consuming medicine like it's candy. Probably not healthy.
5. Nsync.
6. Christmas.
7. Puppies.
8. Being able to live in Europe.
9. America
10. American troops. Even though I will never get to thank even 1% of them personally, I will never be able to express my gratitude
11. Food
12. Shoes
13. Chocolate
14. Cars
15. The fact that I am blessed every single day no matter how difficult my life seems to be.
I'm so thankful for a God that cares for me and loves me more than I will ever be able to fathom.
I'm really sorry about this post. Like previously mentioned, I'm very out of it with all the medication in my system, but for whatever reason I had to post right NOW. I'll probably read this later with a bit of embarrassment.
1. My family. As crazy as they may be, they always support me and are always there for me.
2. My friends that love me even though I whine and complain and completely embarrass them on a pretty regular basis: namely, Janie (woo, Janet!), Joanna (would NOT survive Hungary without her), and Tiffany (I love our dailies. We should keep that up)
3. My church family. They are amazingggggg. Seriously.
4. Medicine. Which I'm currently loaded on. I'm sick and have been consuming medicine like it's candy. Probably not healthy.
5. Nsync.
6. Christmas.
7. Puppies.
8. Being able to live in Europe.
9. America
10. American troops. Even though I will never get to thank even 1% of them personally, I will never be able to express my gratitude
11. Food
12. Shoes
13. Chocolate
14. Cars
15. The fact that I am blessed every single day no matter how difficult my life seems to be.
I'm so thankful for a God that cares for me and loves me more than I will ever be able to fathom.
I'm really sorry about this post. Like previously mentioned, I'm very out of it with all the medication in my system, but for whatever reason I had to post right NOW. I'll probably read this later with a bit of embarrassment.
Monday, November 21, 2011
CEOOGPFME/New door
CEOOGPFME- CEO Occassional Gathering of Partners and Friends for Mutual Edification.
This weekend we had a retreat with all of the partners of CEO. We got together for a weekend of prayer, worship, edification, and LOTS of fellowship. It was amazing and SO needed. I can't begin to tell you about how many amazing people we have in our company and just how fantastic it is to just hang out, gain wisdom, and be covered in prayer over and over again. It's equally amazing to be able to share wisdom, what God is doing in your life, as well as cover others in prayer. Corporate worship in English was AMAZING and something that I had truly missed. To be in a room with other believers and sing as loud (or because I lost my voice...whisper) as I want was so refreshing. I was so encouraged from this weekend.
As we speak, I have two men literally shattering my old doorframe to make room for my new door. After I was robbed, it nearly happened again, so I put extra pressure on my school to get me a new door and to get one quickly. So, I'm pleased to say that it it actually happening...as loudly as can be, I might add. My new door has a steal core and rumor has it that robbers just look at this door and walk away because they know there is no chance. I pray that this is one rumor that holds true. I'm very, very, very excited. Prayers have been answered! I'll try to get a picture of it up when it's all said and done.
This weekend we had a retreat with all of the partners of CEO. We got together for a weekend of prayer, worship, edification, and LOTS of fellowship. It was amazing and SO needed. I can't begin to tell you about how many amazing people we have in our company and just how fantastic it is to just hang out, gain wisdom, and be covered in prayer over and over again. It's equally amazing to be able to share wisdom, what God is doing in your life, as well as cover others in prayer. Corporate worship in English was AMAZING and something that I had truly missed. To be in a room with other believers and sing as loud (or because I lost my voice...whisper) as I want was so refreshing. I was so encouraged from this weekend.
As we speak, I have two men literally shattering my old doorframe to make room for my new door. After I was robbed, it nearly happened again, so I put extra pressure on my school to get me a new door and to get one quickly. So, I'm pleased to say that it it actually happening...as loudly as can be, I might add. My new door has a steal core and rumor has it that robbers just look at this door and walk away because they know there is no chance. I pray that this is one rumor that holds true. I'm very, very, very excited. Prayers have been answered! I'll try to get a picture of it up when it's all said and done.
Monday, November 14, 2011
I'm back!
Oh, gosh. Guys, I'm so sorry that I haven't been posting. I was robbed (as most of you know already) and then I couldn't remember any of my information to log in for my blog, but I finally figured it out! Woo! So, this post is going to be a brief and super rough recap of my life for the past few months.
1. I was robbed. $5,000 of stuff taken. They broke into my flat while I was at school and I came home to my flat torn apart with my laptop, SLR camera, over 100 DVDs, external hard drive, ipod, and all of my jewelry gone. :( Nothing's been recovered and it's hard to still come home some days and feel safe. BUT I know that God has me here for a purpose.
2. Speaking of being here for a purpose...I got to witness to one of my classes for oer 20 minutes at the end of last week. Oh gosh, it was so amazing. And scary. When there are 12 teenagers staring at you and hanging on your every word, it's a little unnerving. They were asking hard questions too. "Why do people suffer?" "If you say that God love everyone, why does bad stuff happen?" I tried to answer to the best of my ability, but I let them know that I wasn't a scholar and that some of my answers were possibly wrong, but it was just what I felt. When the bell rang, none of them moved. They were all so interested. Some even stayed after class to ask questions and keep talking. Definitely an answer to my question that has been running through my mind for a week or two, "God, why AM i here?"
3. Went to Spain for a week! I got some super cheap tickets and headed there for a week with two American friends for our fall break. It was fantastic. It was sort of a whirlwind tour, but I loved it. We got to see both Barcelona and Madrid. I think I'm a fan of Barcelona a bit more, but Madrid was super awesome too. La Sagrada Familia is so awesome. If you don't know what it is...look it up- it's well worth it.
4. God is working in my life- big time. I've NEVER been so spiritually stretched or challenged in my entire life. Honestly. I'm learning something new everyday. God is breaking me everyday. I've been broken before, but never in such a big way and so often. It's really humbling. But even through this, God is carrying me and giving me the strength to sustain me day by day. He's even molding and changing my concept of what being broken means. What grace means. What loves means. It's honestly the most awesome thing ever, but honestly and truly SO hard. There are days when I just want to cry. There are days when all I do is cry. But if this is what it takes to be more godly and for God to bring me closer to him- bring it on.
I love you all. For all of the people that support me and pray for me- thank you. You are a bigbigbigbig part of this journey and I'm pretty sure that your prayers are the only reasons I make it through some days.
I'm back in the blogging game! I promise that I'll be more on top of it now (and save my log in information!)
1. I was robbed. $5,000 of stuff taken. They broke into my flat while I was at school and I came home to my flat torn apart with my laptop, SLR camera, over 100 DVDs, external hard drive, ipod, and all of my jewelry gone. :( Nothing's been recovered and it's hard to still come home some days and feel safe. BUT I know that God has me here for a purpose.
2. Speaking of being here for a purpose...I got to witness to one of my classes for oer 20 minutes at the end of last week. Oh gosh, it was so amazing. And scary. When there are 12 teenagers staring at you and hanging on your every word, it's a little unnerving. They were asking hard questions too. "Why do people suffer?" "If you say that God love everyone, why does bad stuff happen?" I tried to answer to the best of my ability, but I let them know that I wasn't a scholar and that some of my answers were possibly wrong, but it was just what I felt. When the bell rang, none of them moved. They were all so interested. Some even stayed after class to ask questions and keep talking. Definitely an answer to my question that has been running through my mind for a week or two, "God, why AM i here?"
3. Went to Spain for a week! I got some super cheap tickets and headed there for a week with two American friends for our fall break. It was fantastic. It was sort of a whirlwind tour, but I loved it. We got to see both Barcelona and Madrid. I think I'm a fan of Barcelona a bit more, but Madrid was super awesome too. La Sagrada Familia is so awesome. If you don't know what it is...look it up- it's well worth it.
4. God is working in my life- big time. I've NEVER been so spiritually stretched or challenged in my entire life. Honestly. I'm learning something new everyday. God is breaking me everyday. I've been broken before, but never in such a big way and so often. It's really humbling. But even through this, God is carrying me and giving me the strength to sustain me day by day. He's even molding and changing my concept of what being broken means. What grace means. What loves means. It's honestly the most awesome thing ever, but honestly and truly SO hard. There are days when I just want to cry. There are days when all I do is cry. But if this is what it takes to be more godly and for God to bring me closer to him- bring it on.
I love you all. For all of the people that support me and pray for me- thank you. You are a bigbigbigbig part of this journey and I'm pretty sure that your prayers are the only reasons I make it through some days.
I'm back in the blogging game! I promise that I'll be more on top of it now (and save my log in information!)
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Countdown
So in 3 weeks and 2 days I'll be home!!! I can't wait.
Right now, though, there are a few things that I need everyone to be praying for me in the meantime.
1. I REALLY need a car for the summer. I've been looking up rental prices for a vehicle for the summer and it's near $2,000!!! And that's not even including gas!!! I know that some people can't give necessarily give money, but pray that there is someone that might be willing to support a missionary by lending their car for the summer.
2. That I would be able to get everything done over here in time. Time is coming to a close...fast. And I have a LOT to do. In the next 3 weeks (in which I'm traveling every weekend) I have to finish up with school and the exams, move into my new apartment, introduce and interact with the high school missions team that's coming over, and say goodbye to everyone.
3. That I would be able to balance my life at home well and not stress too much. I already have come to the realization that I'm not going to be able to see everyone that I want to see, but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with. There's so much to do in such little time and I tend to be an overachiever. So, please pray that God will give me the ability to prioritize and to not stress over it all.
Those are the most important ones for right now- so please keep those in your prayers for the next 3 weeks!!
Right now, though, there are a few things that I need everyone to be praying for me in the meantime.
1. I REALLY need a car for the summer. I've been looking up rental prices for a vehicle for the summer and it's near $2,000!!! And that's not even including gas!!! I know that some people can't give necessarily give money, but pray that there is someone that might be willing to support a missionary by lending their car for the summer.
2. That I would be able to get everything done over here in time. Time is coming to a close...fast. And I have a LOT to do. In the next 3 weeks (in which I'm traveling every weekend) I have to finish up with school and the exams, move into my new apartment, introduce and interact with the high school missions team that's coming over, and say goodbye to everyone.
3. That I would be able to balance my life at home well and not stress too much. I already have come to the realization that I'm not going to be able to see everyone that I want to see, but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with. There's so much to do in such little time and I tend to be an overachiever. So, please pray that God will give me the ability to prioritize and to not stress over it all.
Those are the most important ones for right now- so please keep those in your prayers for the next 3 weeks!!
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